Different.

I used to feel different to all the kids my age. Most of us usually do feel that we are different. Special maybe. Like we mean a lot to the world. I think that is quite normal.. but I don’t  know if that should be normal. There is a difference between “feeling different” and “being different” and often times, it is misunderstood by many. When we die, we will be remembered for the things we did, not what we intended to do.
Sometimes we feel empty, confused, alone or incomplete but we don’t realize that everyone is going through some kind of inner turmoil. The struggles we go through makes us feel different.
You might be facing a really uncomfortable chapter in your journey, searching for… Something, Anything! But then again.. So is everyone else.
This is not the end!
No, Allah will Never burden us with anything we cannot bear! How comforting SubhanAllah! Sometimes we feel as if we just. Cant. Go. On! But we caaaan! Allah knows we can! We need to trust His plan.
Once I was feeling very out of sorts, the niggling feeling tugging at my intestines, nail biting, shift in my seat sort of out of sorts. The reason was this: حب الدنيا . The love of the world. Truly truly truly, the heart cannot reside two conflicting loves! You simply devote your heart to your religion and the world. One has to go. So I thought to myself, I need direction. A list. A plan. I thought about all the things I did that took my mind away from Allah and started from number 1. Get rid of number 1 asap. Check. And such is what I did! AlHamdulillah I felt sooo much better almost instantaneously! All we need is the right sort of motivation and constantly begging Allah for guidance. Who else is going to guide us?  Who else is going to heal us?
I am still very very far from my goal ( we most certainly MUST set goals for ourselves, we can be vrot and stagnant all our lives!) But alHamdulillah, getting rid of the thing that was stealing my time ( my life) helped me tremendously in lighting the pathway to the road I want to be journeying on. AlHamdulillah.
Begin in Allah’s name. Make lists. Set goals. Speak less. Eat less. Sleep less. Smile more. One at a time inshaAllah. Pray hard.
Remember, alHamdulillah all day everyday!

PS: going through tough times is a purification for our nafs. Jannah is for the pure. We need to be purified to get to our Home. Allah loves us.

-Fayami

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